I'm just really not sure!

So, I'm on an emotional rollercoaster...go figure.

There really is no way to make you understand. I can't make people like me. I can't even try to make people like me. Either they do, or they don't. You want to know why? It's because I'm an introvert. Just an honest to God INTROVERT. You want to help that? Solve my social problems, but trust me when I say this: You won't be able to.

No one really understands that I've had a troubled past. A really troubled past. It affects how I am even today. People don't understand that I'm not just a stingy person. I'm that way because I don't know how else to act. I'm that way because people have influenced me to that way. I'm that way because I chose a path and that's just what came of it. I want each and everyone of you try to tell me that I'm a bad person.


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That aside, I don't exactly expect things to automatically change. I will admit that I wasn't being real on Sunday. I felt like I had to let myself be molded as to not be thrown out as a piece of trash. About that...I can't convince myself of a lot of things. You actually liking me is one of them. You can't just expect me to believe that after the way things have been all year. You being popular and me not has a lot to do with that. It's neither of our faults, it's just the way things are.
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That being said, I also have to explain to you that I believe (not diagnosed or confirmed) I have male PMS, or, more appropriately, IMS (Irritable Male Syndrome). The reason I say this is because I have shifty hormones. Not like in terms of wanting to get it on or anything like that, but more like one day I'm in a wonderful mood and the next moment, if you say something wrong, then I'll bite your head off. It doesn't mean that in a normal mood I wouldn't be irritated, but it just shows a lot more.
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But enough of that now...

Have you heard of the Philadelphia Project (or Project Rainbow)?
The Philadelphia Project

It's fun to think about:-)